Is Money the Answer to True Happiness?

It's common to believe that financial success equates to feeling successful on the inside. However, this isn't always the case, it sure wasn’t in my case. Many of my clients are individuals who have achieved financial success but still feel empty and unfulfilled. Why is that?

One reason is that we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, at no fault to ourselves. We are constantly bombarded with messages that tell us if we just make more money, we will be happy and fulfilled. We see others driving luxury cars, living in mansions, and going on exotic vacations, and feel like we need to keep up. (We don’t really know how that person is feeling on the inside or what they are running from). This comparison game never ends, and it can be exhausting to always strive for more. Most of my clients don’t even know how much money they need or what they need to achieve to finally feel successful or good enough.

The problem is that no matter what we achieve, it will never be enough. We think, "Once I make X amount of money, then I'll finally feel successful," but once we reach that goal, we still feel empty inside. This triggers us to do more and run away from this feeling of inadequacy. Creating an all too familiar never-ending cycle of striving for more, without ever being able to feel satisfied.

Another reason it will never be enough, is because we are trying to fill an emotional void with external success. That was case for me. I thought that if I finally made 200k then I would feel the way I wanted to feel, not realizing the reason I wanted to achieve more. Some of us didn’t receive enough validation or support growing up, or perhaps you experienced a traumatic event that left you feeling empty. Whatever the reason, many of us believe that achieving more money and success will make us feel whole and good enough.

One person I look up to is Michael Phelps. He is the most decorated Olympian of all time with 28 gold medals. He mentioned that his desire to win was rooted in a feeling of not being good enough and wanting to prove to himself and others that he was worthy of respect. I can totally relate, my insecurities of not being good enough and wanting to achieve more was to get the attention and respect of my father. However, I’ve learned that the only opinion and judgment that matters is the one you have towards yourself, but that’s a discussion for another article.

So, what's the solution? It starts with recognizing personal growth and fulfillment cannot be bought or achieved through external success. It takes work to understand yourself and your values, to let go of comparison and competition, and to focus on your own personal growth and development. You have to make time to reflect on what truly brings you joy and fulfillment in life, and prioritize those things. It's also crucial to work on healing any emotional wounds or traumas that may be contributing to the need for external validation.

At the end of the day, it's not about how much money or success you have, but rather how you feel about yourself and your life. I truly believe and can attest that when you focus on cultivating internal fulfillment, the external success will naturally follow, and you'll finally be able to feel truly successful on the inside and out.